Even if your friend claims to be happy for you, it’s hard not to get the feeling that something’s off when someone’s constantly trash-talking you behind your back or belittling the great accomplishments you’ve achieved in your life. If this sounds like your friend and you aren’t sure how to take it, consider these 9 signs that your friend may be jealous of your success. Your relationship with your friend may have changed over time, or there could be other reasons that explain their behavior that have nothing to do with jealousy.
1. You are always the topic of conversation
You may be the topic of conversation but are you doing more talking than listening? Your friend could be trying to compete with you instead of just enjoying the happiness that comes with knowing you. This can happen when there’s too much pride on both ends. Be sure that you’re getting the feedback and compliments you need from a trustworthy source instead.
2. They try to give unsolicited advice on how you can improve
If you find your friends are trying to give you unsolicited advice about how you can improve, this could be a sign they’re feeling left out. They might also try and one-up anything you have going on, so that their own success will be more apparent. It can feel competitive for a friend’s ego when the spotlight is all on you, but remember that there should always be a way for them to share their accomplishments without making it seem like it isn’t big enough next to yours.
3. They say I told you so when something goes wrong with your business
If they say I told you so when things go wrong with your business, or when something goes wrong with one of their business ventures, that’s a sign that they might be jealous. Jealousy can be defined as a negative emotional response to a perceived threat. In this case, the idea that someone else has what you want or has accomplished something and you haven’t will provoke the anger inside them.
4. The way they treat you starts to change
Your once best friend starts to distance themselves from you. Their behavior changes, in that they don’t make plans with you, they come late when they are supposed to be at an event together, and all their time seems taken up by other friends who do not appear to be equally close. The final sign is when they stop texting or contacting you altogether. You know the situation isn’t ideal and wonder how best to handle the scenario, so how can you tell if your formerly-bestie is jealous?
5. They have new friends who aren’t as successful
As you’ve probably noticed, life comes with its own successes and failures. And although it may seem like the latter happens a lot more than the former, it doesn’t mean that people in less successful positions don’t still feel bad about themselves or that they don’t have regrets.
6. Their body language says it all
Some indications of jealousy in body language include: a scowl on their face, their arms are crossed and they look away from you, the clenching or grinding of teeth, they refuse eye contact with you and they act annoyed. Of course, this doesn’t always point to them being jealous; it could also mean that they’re under stress or feeling tired.
7. They try to make you look bad in front of others
Many times it can be difficult to see that a close friend may have underlying insecurities about themselves. The truth of the matter is that people are not perfect and sometimes we lack confidence. When someone makes you look bad in front of others, or tells others about past mistakes you made in order to make themselves feel better, this may be a sign that they’re jealous of your success.
8. The cut down everything you do
1. When you feel the need to keep your thoughts private for fear that someone will use them against you:
2. They are always negative and say anything they can think of to try and bring you down:
3. They disparage every opportunity you have:
4. They despise every skill you show off, as it’s a reminder that they lack these skills too:
5. Every time they hear about something great happening in your life, they respond with sarcasm or self-deprecation:
9. They act like they are interested in what you have achieved but at the same time they seem skeptical
Sometimes it can be difficult to tell when a friend is feeling envious because they might be acting genuinely interested in what you are doing. However, there are some actions that might point towards jealousy. One sign could be when they never want to congratulate you or say congratulations themselves. They could also be pointing out all the negatives and people who tried to stop you.
Our choice of family is made up of our friends. Find a means to get things back to normal if a friend you are with displays jealously, or cut ties with someone who is always bringing you down. Relationships are important, but not at the expense of your worth as a person.