In a relationship but like someone else

If you’ve been freaking out about having a crush while in a relationship, simmer down. You can be committed and in love with your partner, while still noticing the occasional attractive person. We mean, come on!

Now, there’s one thing to watch for. How you react to a crush is completely different. That’s where things can become blurry.

But still, there’s no need to worry. This is the time when you should think about what you want in your life.

So, let’s get down to business and talk about the things to do when you’re in a relationship but like someone else. After reading the feature, take some time to chill and think about what you’re going to do.

1. Remember that having a crush isn’t bad

We need to emphasize this point. Having a crush isn’t a bad thing. This doesn’t mean you don’t love your partner or want to cheat.

This just means you’re human and are attracted to other people. You can still be in a committed relationship and think someone else is cute or attractive. So, in other words, a crush is okay.

2. Let it be a fantasy

People assume that if you have a crush on someone else, you’re not in a happy and loving relationship. But you can be in a loving and happy relationship, while still having a crush.

Let it be what crushes are: fantasies. These are people we dream and fantasize about, and that’s completely fine. This doesn’t mean you’re going to act on it.

3. You can joke about it with your partner

You may not feel comfortable talking about your crush with your partner. But, if you feel comfortable enough, you can talk about it with your partner.

Letting them know you have a crush, and that you have no intention of acting on it is perfectly fine. You don’t need to hide these things.

4. Take time to think about what you want to do

Maybe you can’t handle keeping it as a fantasy, and if that’s the case, you need to make a decision. Do you actually want to act on your feelings and make a move?

Because if you do, and you’re in a relationship, you need to make a hard decision. Do not cheat on your partner with your crush.

5. If you choose to take things further with your crush, end the relationship first

The beauty of crushes is that nothing ever happens with them; they just remain a fantasy.

But sometimes, you get the opportunity to fulfill your fantasy. That’s completely okay, but end your relationship if you want to be with your crush. This is when the lines get blurry for having a crush.

6. Use your crush to examine your relationship

If you have a new crush, use these feelings to look at your current relationship. How do you feel about your partner? What has your relationship been like these past months? When you’re in a relationship but like someone else, it can be a fleeting thing or it can be a sign of something else.

Maybe you’re not interested in your relationship, and if that’s the case, decide what you want to do. Sometimes a crush shows us we need, to ignite the spark in our current relationship.

7. Don’t make any quick decisions

You have a crush on someone, which is totally fine. And yes, you should examine your current relationship and how you really feel, but that doesn’t mean you should make any quick decisions.

Take your time to really reflect on yourself and your relationship. You don’t want to make a move that you’re going to regret.

8. Spend less time with your crush

Sometimes, it can be hard to spend less time together if your crush is someone you work or go to school with.

But, while you’re sorting through your emotions,  give yourself some space from your crush. You know, breathing room. When they’re always around you, it’s hard to take a step back and analyze your feelings.

9. Know that your feelings may disappear

Some crushes can last for years, while others are a couple of weeks, and then you’re over them. Emotions are funny; your feelings may last for a long time or will one day simply vanish. So, don’t freak out. Give yourself time to see what direction your feelings are going in. 

10. Talk to someone if you need to

When you’re in a relationship but like someone else, sometimes, the reasons we feel a certain way for someone aren’t so obvious. And if you’re not sure what to do, there’s nothing wrong with talking to someone you trust about it.

They’ll be able to help you sort through your thoughts and guide you to finding the answers you’re looking for.

11. Know that your partner probably has a crush too

We know you don’t want to hear this, but your partner probably has a crush of their own.

The thought of your partner having a crush probably makes you cringe, but that’s how common it is to be in a relationship but like someone else.

Maybe they admit it; maybe they don’t. But this also shows you that a crush doesn’t mean you can’t be in a happy and loving relationship.

12. You don’t know they like you back

You may like someone, but they may not really like you back in the same manner that you like them.

On the other hand, you may really like someone intensely, but this person may not have the qualities you’re looking for in a long-term partner. It’s not worth ruining your relationship to find out.

13. Don’t assume the grass is greener

in a relationship but like someone else

Always remember this in love. End a relationship because you want to or because you’re not happy in it. Never end a relationship because you think you’ve found someone better. It’s going to hurt you or even backfire on you at some point.

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