Niyihe nama nziza waha abashakanye bari mubihe byo gutandukanya ?

Niyihe nama nziza waha abashakanye bari mubihe byo gutandukanya ?
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Gutandukana ni igihe kibabaje. Urimo guhura nikibazo gishobora gutuma umubano wanyu usenyuka, kandi ibintu byose birashobora gutangira kumva nkintambara. Kubashakanye bamwe, gushwana nintangiriro ryo gutandukana. Kubandi, ni kugerageza kwa nyuma kurokora ishyingiranwa ryabo. Ntakibazo cyaba uruzitiro urimo (cyangwa niyo waba utaramenya neza), inama zacu zifatika zo gutandukana kwabashakanye zizagufasha kurokoka gutandukana kandi uzavamo witeguye icyiciro gikurikira mubuzima bwawe.

 

Sobanura neza icyo ushaka

 

Urimo gutandukana kuko ushaka gutandukana amaherezo? Cyangwa ukeneye igihe cyo guhitamo niba hari ibyiringiro byubukwe bwawe? Ba inyangamugayo wenyine kubwimpamvu ushaka gutandukana – kandi ube inyangamugayo na mugenzi wawe. Icara kandi uvugane ukuri. Gerageza gutega amatwi no kubahana ibitekerezo bya mugenzi wawe aho guhora mushwana. Mwembi mugomba gusobanura neza impamvu gutandukana bibaho nibisubizo byateganijwe.

 

Muhane umwanya

Gutandukana birababaza. Amarangamutima menshi azaza mwembi, kandi ushobora gusanga wumva umujinya, cyangwa ibyiringiro. Mwembi mukeneye igihe cyo gutunganya ibyiyumvo byose biza kandi mukabinyuza muburyo bwanyu. Birashobora kugerageza kwihutira gutandukana cyangwa kubishyiraho inshuro, ariko ibyo birashobora gusubira inyuma bikagusiga cyangwa mugenzi wawe ukumva usunitswe kugirango ufate umwanzuro. Witange na mugenzi wawe igihe kinini nkuko buriwese akeneye.

 

Fata amasezerano kuri buri kintu

 

Mbere yo gutangira gutandukana, shyira amasezerano mubintu byose, harimo:

 

  • Aho buri wese muri mwe azaba
  • Nigute uzacunga konti za banki
  • Uburyo uzakemura fagitire zisangiwe
  • Aho abana bawe bazaba
  • Uburenganzira bwo gusurwa

Niba wakomeza hamwe na politiki yubwishingizi isangiwe cyangwa ntayo Nibyiza niba ubajije umunyamategeko mugihe ukora aya masezerano. Nibyiza kandi kuganira hagati ya amategeko yerekeye gukundana. Ntushobora gukunda igitekerezo cyo kubaza ibyiyumvo byumukunzi wawe kubijyanye, ariko keretse niba uzi neza ko ugana ubutane, gukundana mugihe cyo gutandukana bishobora gutera amakimbirane ahoraho.

Niyihe nama nziza waha abashakanye bari mubihe byo gutandukanya ?
Niyihe nama nziza waha abashakanye bari mubihe byo gutandukanya ?

Gira gahunda

 

Guhura no gutandukana biteye ubwoba. Iyorohereze wenyine ufite gahunda mubikorwa byose ushobora gutekereza. Menya neza ko uzi aho uzatura, uko uzacunga akazi, uko uzishyura ibintu byose, nuburyo uzakemura ibyo abana bawe bakeneye buri munsi hamwe na gahunda. Gutegura gahunda bizatuma gutandukana bitagorana kandi urebe ko utazafatwa igihe gito na fagitire cyangwa ngo urengere inshingano.

 

Gira neza uko ubishoboye

 

Intonganya zirakomera mugihe cyo gutandukana, kandi biroroshye kuba byatuma murwana no guterana amagambo – ariko gerageza utareka ibishuko. Waba amaherezo wiyunga cyangwa ugakomeza gutandukana, impagarara nyinshi no kwiyongera ni bibi kubantu bose babigizemo uruhare. Gerageza kugira neza nkuko ubishoboye kandi wibuke, intege nke  mugenzi wawe biva kubabaza no kugira ubwoba. Niba ibintu bikabije, menya igihe cyo kwikuramo ibiganiro bishyushye, kandi wibuke kwiha umwanya wo gutuza mbere yo gusubiza.

 

Ntugerageze kubahindura

 

Niba umukunzi wawe yatinze kurubu, gutandukana ntabwo bizabahindura. Niba kubura inyungu zabo mubuzima bwa buri munsi bwabana bawe nimwe mumpamvu ushaka gutandukana, kujya imbere ntabwo bizabasunikira guhindura imyitwarire.Wibande kuburyo ushobora gufata neza umukunzi wawe nkuko bimeze ubu. Gira neza n’impuhwe ariko ntukemere imyitwarire mibi. Shushanya imipaka yawe kugirango ubashe kugira imikoranire myiza. Niba utekereza ubwiyunge, vugisha ukuri wowe ubwawe kubyerekeye ibyo umukunzi wawe akunda ndetse ningeso hamwe nibyo ushobora kubana – kugerageza kubihindura ntibizashimisha n’umwe muri mwe.

 

Ba inyangamugayo hamwe nabana bawe

 

Abana bazi ibibera, nubwo batumva umwihariko. Ba inyangamugayo nabo kubiri kuba. Wibuke ko icyo abana bawe bakeneye muri iki gihe ari ukumenya ko ababyeyi bombi babakunda kandi ko bazahora hafi yabo, bityo rero menya neza ko ubabwira ibyo. Hariho itandukaniro hagati yo kumenyesha abana bawe no kubakurura mumikino yawe. Ntukavuge nabi abandi babyeyi babo cyangwa ngo ubishingikirize kubufasha bwamarangamutima. Bakeneye ko ubaho kuri bo, ntabwo ari ukundi.

 

Witegereze wenyine

 

Ukeneye inkunga no kwiyitaho neza kurubu. Wizere inshuti zawe cyangwa abagize umuryango wizewe cyane, kandi ntukagire isoni zo kubamenyesha icyakugirira akamaro nonaha. Tekereza kubona umuvuzi niba ufite ibyiyumvo byinshi ukeneye gukora. Ubuzima bushobora kuba buhuze cyane kandi buguhangayikishije mugihe ugiye gutandukana. Menya neza ko wubaka mugihe runaka kugirango wirebere buri munsi, niyo byaba ari iminota 15 yo gusoma igitabo cyangwa kubona akayaga keza. Bika ikinyamakuru kugirango ukore ibyiyumvo byawe kandi ukure bimwe mubiguhangayikishije mumutwe wawe no kumpapuro.

 

Gutandukana biragoye. Koresha izi inama kugirango woroshye umuhanda wawe kugirango ubashe kwibanda ku gukira no gutera imbere.

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