Reasons people might say they are not interested in dating

If you are someone who’s not interested in dating, that’s totally fine. Relationships aren’t for everyone, even if you haven’t ever had things go wrong. There are just some people who would rather be on their own.Reasons people might say they are not interested in dating

The problem most people have when they don’t want to date is that there is a host of people in their life who continually try to figure out why, convince them out of it, or psychoanalyze how they can “fix” you. The truth is not everyone is meant to be in a relationship, have children, or even find love.

1. They have been hurt so badly they aren’t interested in doing it again

Sometimes we fall in love super hard and think that person is our soulmate. However, things don’t always work out the way we want. We don’t always ride off into the sunset and live happily ever after.

The term “until death do us part” doesn’t always mean you will be together until death. Or sometimes, death comes a whole lot earlier than we want it to. There are all sorts of ways we can be wounded in love. Just don’t cover up your wounds so tight that they never get to scar over.

If you push other people away forever out of fear of getting hurt again, you won’t ever get to experience the awesome feeling you experienced when you were in love. Although tainted by feelings of hurt or betrayal, love is a feeling like nothing else on earth. Maybe you should experience it again.

2. Their parents hated each other

A lot of people’s parents didn’t really like each other that much. Okay, they really didn’t like each other period. And when kids are growing up, they think that their distaste for one another was just what couplehood was like.

But it isn’t. A lot of couples get along fabulously. They love each other more than they love their next breath, and they respect and want the best for one another. Don’t assume you will follow in your parent’s footsteps. If you aren’t interested in dating because of your role models, find new ones.

3. They have been taken advantage of

If you thought it was love only to find out that it really wasn’t, then maybe you think real love is an illusion. It isn’t. Real love does exist. You just didn’t find the right person. When you are taken advantage of, lied to, or cheated on, you might have decided that love isn’t real, but it is.

Many people have seen it and lived it. Instead of choosing not to be interested in dating, maybe just choose better and take it slower next time. You don’t have to marry someone if you date them. Just take it slow and be friends first.

4. They want to focus on work

If you are more interested in a promotion at work than dating, that is totally cool. You don’t have to be distracted by the drama of having a relationship if you want to focus your life on something else.

You might find the rewards that you receive from your work accomplishments provide you with enough satisfaction in life. No one defines what happiness and success look like but you. If you already have both, or know you can without a mate, then more power to you!

5. They don’t want kids

If you don’t want to have kids then what is the point of dating and finding a mate, right? If you don’t want to have children, there are many people out there who probably feel the same.

Relationships, and even marriage, do not equal a home in the suburbs, a minivan, or a bunch of kids. Find someone who wants the same things in life. Or, stay single. Just don’t use that as your excuse not to get close.

6. They are tired of the drama

Gotcha on this one. Relationships are never drama-free. Sure, they start out all exciting and fun. But eventually, they go through many transformations, and they aren’t easy, that’s for sure.

To make a relationship work, you must put in the time and effort. And, if you just aren’t interested in the drama, that’s understandable. If you want a drama-free life, then not dating might be the answer for you.

7. They don’t want to answer to anyone

The best feeling is being able to make decisions for yourself and do your own thing. If you want to watch porn, buy a car that is too expensive, or go away for the weekend, not having someone to answer to is one of the most liberating things on earth.

Only being responsible for yourself and not having anyone treat you like a child or hold you back is incredible. If you want to live the single life, have at it.

8. Marriage is not something they ever want

When you date someone long enough, there comes a time when things move forward and long-term options need to be discussed.

Many people aren’t interested in dating because they don’t want to get married or have a long-term partner. The thing is, you can date and not have to be tied to someone forever. Or, you can choose not to date anyone and stay on your own, so you don’t ever have to have “the talk.”

9. They haven’t ever connected with anyone in that way

Some people just don’t feel a connection with other people. Loners are people who like to be on their own. It isn’t that they can’t find someone to date; it’s that they aren’t interested in dating. It is a totally reasonable option and choice. If you are someone who likes to be on your own, then that is your decision to make.

If you are someone who isn’t interested in dating, you probably have everyone in your life trying to convince you otherwise. The questions flying at someone who says they don’t want to date can be endless, but live your life the way that makes you happiest.

10. They are aromantic

Aromantic people have little or no romantic attraction to others. They may or may not even feel sexual attraction at all. They can also be one of two things – aromantic sexual people or aromantic asexual people *which we will discuss next*.

Like other sexual orientations, aromanticism exists across a continuum. Some people have absolutely zero desire for romance, while others are mildly interested, but not much. So, when someone feels like this, it makes sense that they would not be interested in dating very much.


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