The signs you’re afraid of commitment and looking for excuses

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  1. It is not a crime to live for yourself, but you have to know when to admit that you have commitment problems. Only then can you grow out of it, fight your fears, and delve into a mature and adult relationship with someone special *if you want to, of course*.The signs you’re afraid of commitment and looking for excuses

The vicious cycle of dating and hurting people has to stop. Commitment-phobes have the same modus operandi, so it is relatively easy to spot someone who cannot hold down a long-term relationship.

Here are some clear-cut signs that show you have a phobia when it comes to commitment.

1. One life. Just one person

Does the thought of being with just one person for the rest of your whole life scare you? But you’re not cheating on your lover with someone else right now, are you?

If you’re happy in the arms of your lover today, why does the idea of living with them for a lifetime scare you?

2. You fear the end of the relationship

No one can promise you that you will surely have a happy ending. Nothing in life is ever guaranteed. But here’s something you need to keep in mind, your happiness and romantic happy endings are almost always in your own hands.

3. The lack of sexual variety

The first time you have sex, it’s awesome! But as the years pass by, the sex can start to get pretty monotonous and predictable.

But that would happen only if you allow your sex life to stagnate. Get naughty and wild, and your sex life will always stay on a high.

4. There’s so much you want to achieve

You may think commitment or marriage would hold you back from achieving your goals or your dreams. But is there a real reason behind your paranoia?

A commitment may affect your goals at times, but more often than not, it’s just your excuse. If you ever walk into a crossroad, you have to make a choice and stick to it.

5. You’re perfect just the way you are

This is a great excuse. You’re in a happy relationship and everything’s just dandy. So why would you want to get married just to conform to the rules of society? You definitely have a good point.

But instead of looking at marriage as unnecessary rules set by society, try to see it as a moral commitment you’re making to your lover. Nothing really changes with a verbal commitment, yet your sign of commitment shows your lover that you truly love and respect them.

6. You have a plan

Do you have a five-year plan or a ten-year plan? Sometimes, all of us have long-term plans to achieve our goals in life. But a commitment can’t kill you, can it? If you really need to devote all your time and attention to something else, or if you need to travel because that’s part of your big plan, learn to communicate.

Talk to your lover and explain your plans to them so you can douse their insecurities about the relationship. If you don’t do that, you may just end up losing your lover someday real soon!

7. You’ve had many ultimatums

Have you been given an ultimatum by your lover to make a commitment? At times, giving an ultimatum is the worst thing to do in a relationship, because ego and anger always creep into the scenario.

But if you’ve been given a deadline to make a commitment, don’t get angered by the ultimatum.

Ask yourself what you really want, swallow your ego and your pride, and make a decision. After all, most ultimatums are given out of desperation and pain, rather than with the intention of pissing you off.

8. You’re stuck on bad memories

A bad case of cheating exes and heartbreaks can leave you paranoid about long term relationships and promises of commitment. The past can hurt you and haunt you, but that’s no excuse to stagnate in your new relationship or feel insecure about it.

Take baby steps, one step at a time, until you feel confident and secure about your new lover. You may think you have every reason to stall commitment, but you have to remember that you’re hurting your lover and leaving them confused with your actions.

9. You’re someone who loves their space

Space is the silent killer of romance. At first, lovers cling to each other and want to be with each other every second of every day. But as time goes by, both lovers start to drift just a little bit. But yet, no lover ever talks about it because they don’t want to hurt their partner’s feelings!

If you’re afraid to commit because you feel you’ll lose your own personal space, don’t worry about it.

As long as both of you make the effort to give each other space and grow as individuals, the commitment will only make both of you fall more in love with each other and become better individuals at the same time.

10. You always question whether this person is The One

Are you still uncertain about whether this person is the one for you? This is the worst place to be, and your fear of commitment is completely justified. But you’re also being a selfish person.

If the only reason you’re holding back from making a commitment is that you’re not entirely sure you want to be with this person, take a few days or a week and make up your mind.

Don’t ever leave the person who loves you hanging by a thread because you’re too chicken to make a decision, or too selfish to care about what would happen to your lover after you break up and walk away.

The signs you’re afraid of commitment and looking for excuses

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