In order to become a better listener, you have to be aware of what your partner’s concerns are. Before they even say anything, it is good for you to know what they might want to talk about.Things that your partner wants to tell you?
Everyone has a billion thoughts they might want to talk about with their partner, but there are some topics that are more common for people in relationships.
1. The little things
This can be chores, requests, favors, or even a short narrative about how their day went. These things may seem unimportant at times, but the fact that you are paying attention to them can go a long way. Sometimes, it’s the simple things that can mean everything to your partner.
If you’re ignoring them for the small things, how will you react to the big stuff? You don’t have to make a fuss out of what they’re saying, but making them feel like you care is already adequate.
2. Their feelings
It doesn’t matter how expressive you are about your emotions or how good you are with your words. Listening is all about validating your partner’s feelings so if you can’t do that, you have already failed in your communication skills. If they feel that you are belittling their feelings, they might resent you and feel as if you are ignoring them.
In a relationship, talking about feelings is not just an occupational hazard. It is also a privilege. Knowing how the person you love feels can solidify your bond and allow you to learn more about them.
3. Their doubts
If you are having communication problems, that could be the least of your concerns. Your partner may want to voice their other concerns about your relationship, but your indifference might make them feel as if you are not concerned about it.
Nobody will want to open up if they know they’ll expect distance and invalidation from their partner. So if you want to learn how to be a better listener in your relationship, watch how you openly and willingly listen to them.
4. Their complaints
It might feel like nagging, but a partner complains about you because you are doing something wrong in their eyes. If you listen carefully, you can find out if they are right and change your ways. If they are wrong, the least you can do is defend yourself and fix the problem together.
But you can never find a middle ground and mutual understanding if you don’t listen to them initially. Also, don’t instantly assume that they’re nagging. For all you know, this is their way of opening up about everything they’ve been holding inside for a long time.
5. Their appreciation
The most painful way you can ignore your partner is when you do not listen when they are expressing their love for you. They might be complimenting you or telling you how much they love you when you are not listening.
Eventually, they’ll stop caring entirely, all because you failed to listen to them and validate their feelings. If you make them feel like they don’t matter, eventually they’ll just stop trying altogether.