Why always texting first sends the wrong message

How to flirt with a girl over text

Hands up if you’ve always been the one who texts first. Come on! Hands up! There’s no shame in it!The routine goes a little like this – you fire off your text, wait a while, and tell yourself you’re going to make them do a little of the leg work, but you always give in in the end.

You end up sending, “How’s your day?” From there, the conversation starts to flow. Then, after a while, it stops again and your adrenaline hit runs out.

Can you instantly recognize this pattern?

This behavior, although common, is actually problematic on many levels. It shows anyone you’re talking to in a flirty manner that they can just relax, and you’ll come running. Not a good look, right? Thankfully you can learn from these mistakes. The truth is, however, that many people fall for the same issue.

We’ll say it clearly—you need to stop texting first all the time!

Of course, someone has to be the first one to break the ice. We’re not suggesting that you never text first, but you should stop texting first every single time.

If they don’t text you, wait a while. In the end, they’ll probably give in, and you’ve shown them that you actually have a life outside of them, too.

We know it’s hard. When you’re being ghosted, you just want some kind of reassurance that it’s not starting to go the same way as it always has in the past. It’s understandable, but it’s also important to remember that if someone is childish enough to play these types of games, then you don’t really need them in your life anyway.

Reasons why you need to stop texting first

If you’re always the one picking up your phone to reach out first, check out these reasons why you should stop texting first every single time.

1. You’ll easily notice if they’re a good one or not

If you stop texting first and they don’t reply, there’s your answer – they’re not worth your time. By being a little more fluid with your texting, you can also figure out if they’re a good one or just someone who’s liable to play ghosting games with you when they become bored.

A healthy line of communication should be a mixture of them texting you first sometimes and you texting them first sometimes – equal!

Don’t devalue yourself by constantly chasing after someone who can’t even be bothered to say “good morning” or ask you how you are.

2. You don’t have to do the hard work all the time

By texting first all the time, you’re doing the hard work. You’re constantly thinking of something to say and always wondering what they’re doing and why they haven’t texted you. It’s exhausting.

Crushes and even full-blown relationships should not be this much hard work!

Relax. Stop texting first for a while and see what happens. With a bit of luck, your beau will figure it out and do their fair share of the work.

3. You give yourself time to focus on yourself

When you first meet someone, it’s really easy to make your life all about them. You start to obsess about the smallest things and forget your friends, your hobbies, and the things you used to enjoy.

It’s a massive pitfall that you need to avoid at all costs. By constantly checking your phone and always being the one to text first, you’re putting one foot on that slippery slope.

Relax and see what happens. In the meantime, focus on yourself and enjoy your time.

4. You learn to enjoy dating rather than becoming stressed

Most people don’t enjoy dating and always find it super stressful. You end up constantly checking your phone and thinking of things to text just to make contact.

It makes you cringe when you look back because it can make you look desperate.

By learning to stop texting first, you actually relax and start to enjoy the first flourishes of love. Honestly, it can be so much more enjoyable if you just lighten up and let it flow naturally.

5. They quickly realize they can’t take you for granted

If you’re always happy to do the hard work and text first, they’re not going to try very hard. It’s a natural human response. However, if you make them work a little, e.g., do their share of the texting, then they’re going to quickly see that you just won’t text either if they take you for granted.

It’s a far better picture that cultivates respect. That’s a much healthier and happier scenario, don’t you agree?

6. They’ll appreciate your worth

When you’re not texting them, they’re thinking the same thing you’re thinking when you don’t get a text: What are they doing? Who are they with? Why aren’t they thinking about me?

Although dating shouldn’t include games, in all honesty, it does. Let them wonder what you’re up to!

It makes them appreciate you more and ensures that your own level of self-worth isn’t eroded by constantly wondering why they’re not texting you first.

7. You’ll actually have something to talk about

When you’re constantly texting first, it’s normally random things because eventually, you’ll run out of witty things to say!

When you wait a while and allow them to do a little of the work, you’ll actually notice that you have more things to talk about. Your communication will improve. In any crush/relationship/dating situation, everything should be equal. That includes communication.

8. You set your intentions and boundaries from the start

If you’re texting first all the time, why are they going to try? You’re showing them from the start that you’re happy to do all the leg work. They simply assume they can relax.

However, if you stop texting first and wait it out a while from the beginning, they’ll understand that you’re not someone they can be quite so lazy with. You avoid setting a dangerous precedent.

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