When your marriage ends, it’s normal to feel rejection, anger, sadness, and regret. So, when you find out that your ex has a new girlfriend from someone other than him, some negative Why is my ex hiding his new relationship .feelings might surface.
Here are some surprising reasons why your ex might be hiding his new relationship:
1. He doesn’t want to hurt you
If your ex is a person that avoids conflict, he might be trying not to reopen an old wound. He might want to side-step any confrontation, either in public or private, that might upset you and trigger upsetting feelings.
2. He’s fearful of your negative reaction
Perhaps he thinks that if he shares this information with you, you’ll respond badly and lash out with anger or jealousy. This is especially true if he’s the one who left (like Jonathan) and you’re the person who feels rejected (like Caitlin).
3. The relationship is extremely new
Your ex may have just started dating this new romantic partner and may not be sure it’s serious enough to tell you. He might want to test the relationship before telling you about it.
4. He may not be ready to make a commitment
He might not want to go public because he’s wavering on whether he’s ready to commit to his new partner.
5. He might be worried you’re not ready to move on
Sometimes people feel that they need to create boundaries to move on after a divorce. This might mean keeping some personal information private and not sharing it with their ex.
6. He wants to keep his options open
If he’s ambivalent about his feelings toward his new partner, he might want to wait to go public with this relationship. This could help you understand why has your ex gone quiet suddenly.
7. He is worried you’ll try to sabotage the relationship
If your ex is in a new relationship, he might hide it because he is fearful that you may try to ruin his new relationship. This is especially true if you have expressed angry or jealous feelings.
Likewise, he might want to protect his new partner from negative feedback from you or others.
8. He wants to keep his new relationship private
Maybe your ex is keeping his new relationship a secret because he’s concerned about you doing something to embarrass him or discourage his new girlfriend from staying in the relationship.
9. He is a secretive person
Remember when you were a couple and assess whether your ex ever hid information from you.
Old habits are hard to change and he might not think it’s a big deal to keep his new girlfriend a secret. If he’s more reserved than you, he might be uncomfortable being vulnerable and sharing personal information.